Porca Vacca, the kingdom of meat on the port of Oneglia

There's a paradox in Oneglia that makes me smile every time. The port is the kingdom of fish: the boats, the catch auction, the fishmongers under the arcades, the restaurants that bring you to the table what was still out at sea that morning. And then, in the middle of all this, a few steps from the fishermen's boats, there's a place that cheerfully couldn't care less about fish. It's called Porca Vacca, and the name alone tells you what kind of evening lies ahead.

It sits under the arcades of Calata Cuneo, at number 39, in the same run of arches that lines the port. Only here, instead of the smell of the sea, it's the grill that welcomes you. It's the dry-land counterpoint to a town that lives on water — and to me, someone who loves fish but every now and then has had enough of it, that's something to be glad of.

The kingdom of meat, on the port

Let's be clear from the start: at Porca Vacca you come for the meat, and the meat is serious. It's an informal, convivial osteria, made for sitting at the table in good company without watching the clock, but well looked after: no frills, no dishes built for the photo, just good raw material handled the way it should be.

The beef is all Italian, from selected farms, with Piedmontese cattle as the star — fassona, the good stuff, the kind people around here know how to recognise — and the odd treat for those who want to go all out, right up to wagyu. You'll find the tagliate, the steaks, the rib steaks, the short ribs: the whole meat repertoire done as it should be, on the grill, with the right crust outside and pink within. Generous portions, the kind that have you reaching dessert already full (but you order the dessert anyway).

Porca Vacca's giro carne: skewers, mixed cuts and potatoes on the scorching grill, everything making its round of the table.

The famous giro carne

The showpiece, the reason Porca Vacca is Porca Vacca, is the giro carne. It works just as the name says: the best cuts of the house are sent round your table, one after another. They come in waves, until you raise the white flag. It's the perfect formula for anyone who doesn't want to choose and simply wants to be carried along — and for anyone who, in company, has that end-of-a-day-at-the-sea hunger that only meat truly settles.

It's a convivial ritual more than a dinner: you chat, you pass the plates, you keep the glass topped up. Exactly the kind of evening that, in Oneglia in summer, fits perfectly. You sit under the arcades, the port right there in front of you with the boats at their moorings, and inside there's the feast of meat.

A fine grilled steak with potatoes: crust outside, pink within. The repertoire of the house.

The best part: you walk home

And here's the thing that, if you're staying at Stella sul Mare, makes all the difference.

Plenty of proper meat osterie are up in the valleys, and after a dinner like this the problem is always the same: who drives home. Not Porca Vacca. It's right on the port of Oneglia, and from the house you reach it on foot in a few minutes. Which means you can enjoy your red without watching the clock or thinking about the car: you order, you eat, you toast, and then you stroll back up along the port to walk it off. For a meat-and-wine dinner, it's the most underrated luxury there is.

It's a different story if you fancy meat and don't mind the drive: up in the Arroscia valley there's the Osteria della Ciccia, fiorentine and wine aplenty — but there, like good sports, elect your designated driver before you open the menu.

How to get there

Porca Vacca is at Calata Cuneo 39, under the arcades, on the port of Oneglia. It's a well-known osteria and it fills up at the weekend, so book — in company it's practically compulsory. Bear in mind it's a place for groups and long tables, not for a quiet dinner for two — but that's exactly the charm of it.

From Stella sul Mare it's a stroll: the house is a few minutes from Calata Cuneo, so on the way there you can leave the car where it is and do the port on foot (all the more reason to head down relaxed). And if one evening you'd rather leave the meat in peace and have a change of air, I've already told you where to eat inland, from the city osteria all the way to the villages of the hinterland.

Places where you eat meat like this while watching the fishermen's boats — I know only one. It's here, under the arcades. And every time I smile at the thought of all that fish, out there, that will never set foot inside Porca Vacca.